Is it wrong to flirt when your married?

I work in a coffee shop and deal with tons of customers a day. I am a very confident person and have established most of my relationships with my customers by flirting, flattering, and having “real” conversations with them. I am married and most of the customers I flirt with are also. I make it a point to get along with their wives as to not make them feel threatened. When the wives aren’t around I flirt pretty heavily with the men, just until they smile and leave feeling more attractive.(all of the men flirt back in their own way) I see it as friendly flirting and part of my job to make people feel comfortable and feel more confident about themselves. I think everyone needs a compliment now and again, but I worry that even though I am having fun, I don’t want any of these men to think I am trying to flirt with them for the sake of an affair ect. I know men tend to think women are coming onto them, when she is in fact just being friendly. How likely is it that the men I am flirting with are taking it more as a sexual come on rather than business? I am an attractive 24 year old woman and the men I flirt with are older than 30….. Who doesn’t want a hot younger woman to flirt with them? Oh most of the men know I am married.


My Hubby has never motioned to me that I am too flirty or inappropriate.


Is it safe to play??Is it wrong to flirt when your married?
As long as you have no real attachment to any of these men and it's strictly business, and your husband is okay with it, it's fine. For example, it's fine to flirt as long as if any of the men ever asked you to do anything with them and you give a flat and confident ';no.'; As long as the men and you both know that it's never going to get any further, it's fine. Talk to your husband about it too though just in case. As you can tell from the other answers, people have different ideas about what is okay and what is not. You'll have peace of mind after talking to him about it and knowing straight from him that it's okay.Is it wrong to flirt when your married?
it's bad to flirt when your married, engages,in a relatioship...etc......yessss. it's baddd to flirt when your married. good luck.
it's safe to flirt--if you're single...I know I wouldn't trust my (gf)--much less my wife if she flirted.../shrug that's me though.
Yes its wrong to flirt when you are married. Sometimes i think we do it unintentionally especially if you were naturally flirtatious before you got married. But you wouldnt want him to flirt. You always have to imagine how it would feel if the other person was doing it.
Yes. If your husband knew about it he would be appalled.
I think flirting when your married is disrespectful to a spouse and marriage and it could lead to cheating.
I dont think its safe to play or be flirty, its not nice to your husband and its not nice to lead on the other guys, it can cause many problems in the future. Sorry my answer isnt longer but i dont have a lot of time. In my opinion the bottom line is that if youre committed at all then there is no reason to flirt and if you do, youre asking for trouble.
Flirting is a very natural reaction for people. There is nothing wrong with it. All flirting really is is away to put a smile on someones face and brighten their day. In fact I find I don't flirt with just men. The difference is I am a little more aggresive with flirting with men but it's also nice to know that men find me attractive. If your hubby doesn't seem to have a prob with it and you don't take things tooooo far don't worry about it.
In my opinion fun safe flirting is fine. My bf and I have communication and an understanding that makes it fine though. When we are out somewhere and he flirts or I flirt, I see no harm in it. We even sometimes make it a game. We both know that we are going home with each other and are not so insecure to think just because he is looking at someone else that the other wants to sleep with that person. I don't know I guess I have different views on things than most people. As long as your husband and you are okay with this then I think it is fine.
well i am a attractive 17 year old and i never flirt with anyone but my boyfriend unless i'm just messing around with a close friend? my opinion? if you're committed to one person you shouldn't leave room for conflict? now if he and you are both very comfortable with this then well thats your own thing. but you should probably see how he thinks about it? would you like him to go around flirting with other women, because if you don't then you shouldn't at all do what you have been doing.
The fact that you flirt more with the men when their wives aren't around gives the wrong message, if you want to flirt a bit, thats fine, but you shouldn't do anything that you wouldn't do in front of that man's wife/girlfriend. How would you feel if someone a lot hotter and younger than you was flirting with your husband the way you flirt with these men? Take these things into account before you flirt.
I have yet to meet a waitress that did not flirt, it makes for better tips. It makes the whole experience more enjoyable for everyone.


So no it is not wrong is the answer to your question, just normal human interpersonal behavior.
As long as you are happy, and if someone thinks more of it you are capable of putting them in perspective, and as long as hubby is ok with it, have at it. My hubby knows how I am and he loves it, he knows that I am going home with him. Believe me in your line of work you must flirt-guys tip better than women-and the more you play their ego the better the money.


It is safe as long as you can put anyone in their place if they get a bit ';out of control';.


I once had a customer at a diner I worked at bring me gifts-my husband loved the fresh eclairs when I got home. All good sweetie, no worries.
I think there's something really wrong with you to act the way you described. You say, ';I am a very confident person'; very your behavior says otherwise. It sounds like you are seeking approval from the men you flirt with.





If you don't want these men to think you are flirting, as in coming onto them, then why do you admit you flirt more heavily with them when their wives are not there? If your motives were as innocent as you claim- just to have fun and make people comfortable, it wouldn't matter. You also say you know that men tend to think that women are coming onto them when in fact they are just being friendly. So, why exactly do you do it if you know that? You can be friendly and make men feel comfortable without flirting. I think you have the two seriously confused.
I assume you are also on the receiving end of the flirting. You dont sound all that concerned...nor does your husband. I assume you're flirting increases you tips as well, and NOTHING more. Use caution that NONE take it seriously. One usually knows when someone is sincere in their marriage. Please keep it in that vain.
If this makes your job more fun, have at it. I gives the customers a good feeling and makes you a good employee. And what you are doing isn't what i would consider ';Flirting'; as much as good salesmanship.





Two things to watch out for; don't let the people from work into your head during sex or even after work start ';day dreaming'; about a particular person, then you are going to far.


Second is, you are cute, flirty and personable, watch out for someone who flirts back to much, is around to often. You might just keep the charisma in check.





Its great to have fun at work and be good at it, just make sure the sex appeal isn't too appealing.
Its just WRONG to ASK this question and yes ... its wrong to flirt ONLY if it bothers yer spouse. Just respect him.





are you new to the planet?
Well, it is not safe to flirt, as it could or will ruin your marriage.


and shows you are not totally devoted to your husband.
no better stop now before you are caught.. if you were to be caught by your hubby.. you would be in fight..
You will eventually get burn if you keep playing with fire and this says it all.
Smokey the Bear says,';Dont play with matches!';
If it's harmless fun then no..
No it's not wrong it's normal as long as u know ur bounderies due to being married...
Absolutely...i don't think it's a good idea considering you've made a commitment to your spouse. Be faithful!!!
If they are older and married then I think your just being nice..no harm done.
I see nothing wrong with ';looking'; and ';appreciating'; someone who is attractive and has a great personality. You can still be friendly without ';flirting'; and giving them the wrong ideas.





As for your question, ';is it safe to play';?, I guess that depends on what you mean by ';play';, it certainly sounds like you mean more than casual flirting to me.





If you were the confident person you say you are, you wouldn't need to ';flirt heavily'; to get the attention you obviously crave. You're playing with fire and if you get burned, you have no one to blame but yourself.





I also doubt if the wives are as ';threatened'; by you as you would like to think. Successful marriages are based on love and respect. Just because a younger woman flirts with your husband doesn't mean your husband gives her a second thought after he leaves the coffee shop. Why would he care if you flirt with him, you aren't his wife.





And if your husband hasn't mentioned anything to you about your flirting, it doesn't mean it doesn't bother him. Actions speak volumes and your lack of respect for him is apparent.





Maybe you need to redefine your job description.
I think its borderline and could lead to a inappropriate relationship.
It is ok as long as you remember you have someone to respect. And it is good to flirt, do it also with your partner.
It's fine to flirt if you are in a relationship/married. Just keep things at a good level and keep your clothes on, etc...Flirting is normal, harmless fun.





Just keep it light and respectful - no problem.
Yes, it's very bad to flirt when you're in a committed relationship, it just shows you'd rather be single than be with your husband.


I'm engaged and i couldn't imagine flirting with another guy, that is just slutty and trashy
get over yourself and respect yourself, your husband and your marriage.


yes, it is wrong to flirt.


if those men are married, im sure their wives dont appreciate your over the top attention.


if anything, it makes you look cheap and tarty, especialy if the men know you are married!!!


you can be nice and polite without flirting.