Should i tell my fiance and risk losing him?

I am engaged to a wonderful man. I should be the happiest woman in the world but it is the totally opposed. I have known my fiancé for 5 years. I am 23 years old now. We are planning to get married in two years.


My fiancé is an amazing man but he is VERY VERY short tempered. About two years ago, I met this latino guy. At first, he was my guy friend. He was telling me that he wants me to be his girlfriend but I never paid much attention. I used to see him and talk about logic, philosophy, religion etc. It felt good talking to him since he never got angry when I would disagree with him (unlike my fiancé at that time). So I started developing feeling for this guy. And I told him that I kinda of loved him. That is when this latino guy changed. He started calling me names. He turned into a total jerk. That is when I stopped seeing him. And I told my fiancé that there was this latino guy who hit on me and I swore to him on my future kids’ lives that I’ll never talk to that latino guy again. I kept my promise for five months but I was thinking of the latino guy every day. I missed the latino guy sooooooooooo much. Until one day, I ran into him and I couldn’t help but talking to him. He was talking as if he is so innocent and how I usually took my anger on him when I am so sick. I talked to him for three hours. I hated him and myself so much at that moment. For the first time ever, I can say, “I honestly don’t care about this guy anymore”. I stopped thinking of him and I truly moved on with my life. Keep in mind that I never kissed that latino guy, nor did I hug him.


However, I broke my promise to my fiancé. I told him that I the latino guy talked to me (the truth is I talked to him first, not the other way around). I also told my boyfriend that we only talked for two minutes. My fiancé was very upset but he forgave me.


Also three years ago, I let a couple of men flirt with me. Nothing happened (didn’t kiss them or hugged them) but I didn’t stop them from flirting with me. My fiancé doesn’t know about this.


We got engaged few days ago. I feel awful that I haven’t been totally honest with about my past. But I know if I told him, he’ll leave me right away and I truly love him. My question is should I tell him about my past and risk losing him?Should i tell my fiance and risk losing him?
Do not tell him.. vvvvvPLEASE READvvvvv i know it's long.


That crap is petty compared to the mountainous relationship you two have...


Also you didn't kinda love the latino guy -you were in love with what he offered (easy, enjoyable conversation) It's not the latino guy...he just represents what you wish you could get from the one you really love. Try explaining that (need for him to work on his conversation skills and temper) to your man and things will be so good :) AND bring it up to him when you two are laughing about something or doing something fun not while arguing. I mean how perfect will it be when you can have that with Your man!? Ya know. Then Latino dude can step off haha Man why is it always the latino..lol


Sounds to me like you are a lucky girl...life is so precious. Too precious for petty crap. My fiance and best friend through school died at 20...I am 24 now.


And don't let it eat you up inside that you're keepin it from him or not telling him b/c it IS SO petty! Seriously! You told him the jist of it so you're fine sweetie!!! Breathe lol So cute...Wish you two the best! P.S. . I read this over and over and thought long and hard before writing OH and you made me appreciate the relationship I am in (He got a kiss and didn't know why lol)Should i tell my fiance and risk losing him?
What he doesn't know won't hurt him!! Keep it to yourself and move on. You didn't do anything wrong so there is nothing to talk about.
Both so called men sound very insecure and you would be heading for trouble with either of them. I suggest you tell them nothing and lose them both...
tell him and if you are really sorry and he knows he will forgive you
NO! he dosen have to know everything! secrets arent deciet
granted, you broke a promise to your fiance, but, all you did was talk to the guy. ya, u told ur fiance that you wouldnt talk to him anymore, but if you had had sex with the guy, then you should probably tell him if it made you more comfortable, since you only talked to him, ignorance is bliss.





help with mine?


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091228022900AALWjrK
At this point you probably should tell him about the men flirting with you. You need to be honest with him if you really love him. If he really loves you then he wouldn't leave you, but he would want to work on it. You need to stop letting other guys flirt with you though. If you love your fiance, you wouldn't do that. If it's true love that you two have, you wouldn't allow other guys to flirt with you, and you wouldn't break your promises to him. If you can't be honest with him now, things are never going to work when you're married.
Simple answer is No, dont tell him about your past... That is exactly that.. Your past. You love this man and you can show it in your dedication to the relationship and forthcoming marrage. Think about the future with him now and forget those past things with others. Put it in a mental bin and throw those old memories away.
i say you should tell him, it may hurt your relationship, but its better than living with the guilt or having him find out later. he may cancel the wedding, but he will still love you, and if you dont mess up again, i think hell take you back
Lol you are being silly sweetie! That was one conversation, and guys flirting is not a big deal at all. It's like saying ';I walked to the grocery store and the clerk winked at me'; big deal. It's not even worth mentioning. If you are not planning on seeing the latino guy again (You shouldn't sounds like he's afraid of commitment of any sort) then it rly does not matter. Don't feel guilty!!!!
Hunnie, just leave it, what's done is done right but this time don't promise your fiance but yourself that you'll never be like that again.





If you tell him he won't trust you anymore and you won't do it again so why bother?


I don't think your fiance will be too happy when he finds out so it's best to keep it a secret!


If you truly love him just leave it and don't worry about it, i'm sure if you do tell him you'll be more unhappier because you'll argue alot.


Also you should just forget about the latino guy he's a total jerk by the looks of things!





Take Care hunnie and happy new year =D
You do not belong with this guy. If you can't even be honest without fear of his temper, things will only get worse once you are married. Do yourself a favor and break it off with him. You will meet someone else in time who you can tell anything to, and who can be your best friend as well as your lover. Don't settle for him, there's better out there.
First of all ';I swore to him on my future kids’ lives'; is just a stupid thing to say.


Secondly, talking to a guy is not the crime of the century, nor is it infidelity or unfaithfulness.


So I dont see why your fiancee should end the engagement on that basis.


And 3 YEARS AGO some guys FLIRTED? thats no big deal!


I would just advise you forget all about it and get on with your life.


You are too paranoid!


Plus, I wonder if your man worries about whether or not you will find out if he had flirted/spoken to other women?


I do wonder now if he controls you too much in some way.


Be careful of him.
You did nothing wrong considering that you never slept together.





Do you think that your fiance would be unable to accept this? If you fear losing him over a matter where you did something (in the larger scale of things) that is trivial, then I see one of two things. Your guilt sensors are in overdrive, or, he needs to have a more forgiving attitude (generally) in the relationship. It is your fear that he will be unable to forgive you that is worrying- I'm not saying that what you did was great. I'm saying that things should be put in perspective.





Take care, believe in your own integrity, be kind on yourself and judge your circumstances carefully.
no role with it neva do it again so ya don't have any more to say to ya fianc'e but don't tell him i no ya love him and ya don't wanna lose him do you?so don't tell him othawise he will get mad and drop ya right then and there
sista, lets get real. If you enjoy flirting with other men, and even got into a relationship where you professed your love to the latino guy - those are tell tale signs that you have no business getting engaged. I would say its best for you to break off the engagement. Why would you want to be with a man that you can't have conversations with without him getting upset? Break it off and find a guy that totally does it for you!